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“Just Married” by Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak – Book Review & Giveaway!

January 8, 2014 / Nicole Padley / 11 Comments

When the book, Just Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Five Years of Marriage arrived in the mail only a few short weeks before our wedding, I can’t say that I was expecting to read it anytime soon (let alone write a review for it). At first glance, I imagined it would have some good information, but nothing revolutionary or what I hadn’t heard before. Thankfully, I did find some time on our honeymoon to get started on the book (thanks NFP :D)… And once I picked up the book up, I couldn’t put it down.

Written by Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak, the book’s accessibility and practicality are themes that all couples will benefit from. While the Popcaks are without a doubt writing for a Catholic audience, couples from all different faith backgrounds will find it to be laden with valuable advice.

The Popcaks do an exceptional job stepping beyond the often candy-coated portrayal of newlywed life. Unlike so many other relationship books, Dr. Greg and Lisa supply readers with step-by-step guides and useful exercises to build a strong and lasting foundation for marriage. This book is a quick-read and easy to blaze through, but I found it helpful to stop and take moments to really let their advice sink in. I ended up dog-earing a lot and underlining sections I knew would be useful later. Plus, this served as subtle hints for Pat to take note of as he is currently reading through the book.

In addition to laying down some serious wisdom, they invite readers to seek out their own strengths and shortcomings as a couple. This is really helpful for sparking conversation with your spouse. I found this book to be inspiring as it gave me a sense that the joy-filled marriage we all dream of is in fact possible with faith and hard work of course.

Christopher West, another acclaimed Christian author says that “every married couple—newly married or otherwise—will benefit from this book.” I would whole-heartedly agree. Just Married is highly recommended and would make a wonderful gift for newlyweds too.

This review was made possible with compliments of Ave Maria Press.

Purchase “Just Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Five Years of Marriage” and support ACoupleofCatholics.com with your purchase

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Top 13 moments from 2013

December 31, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 0 Comments

I love New Years. It’s a time to reminisce on the past and reflect on how you’ve grown. It’s an opportunity to dream, hope and resolve for a better self…a better future. It’s a fresh start, and no matter who you are we can all use those from time to time.

As 2013 draws to a close, Patrick and I have reflected on what this year has meant to us… as a couple and individuals. So here it is the top 13 from 2013.

1. We got married!

Nicole says: While most of this year was spent in the whirlwind that is wedding planning on November 23rd we made it official.

Pat says: WOOHOO, we finally made it! I married such a beautiful bride. I am so thankful to be done with engagement… it was like purgatory.

2. Honeymooning in Italy – We met the Pope…and then took a selfie.

Nicole says: As if getting married and enjoying a honeymoon in Italy wasn’t enough of a blessing, thanks to the Archdiocese of Kansas City Kansas Pat an I were fortunately able to attend a Wednesday audience with Pope Francis and afterwards we were able to meet him. YES, we met the Pope–a life goal checked off my list.

Pat says: This was an amazing trip. Between the food, the sites, the spiritual journey and my travel partner, I feel so blessed. I look forward to posting more Italy photos online soon.

3. We started a blog

Given that you are on our site right now, we’re guessing you know this. We’re only a year into this endeavor and so far it has been a fun way for us to recount our experiences as a couple and share them with you. We hope you’ve enjoyed this journey with us. Here are a few of our recommended posts:

We often post on Twitter too. You’re welcome to follow us!

4. HuffPost Interview

Pat says: Ok, so this was completely unexpected. I got an email from one of the editors from HuffPost LIVE (Huffington Post’s live-streaming network) and before I knew it we we’re being interview about our choice not to live together before marriage.

SEE: A recap of our Interview with HuffPost LIVE

5. Moving in together

Nicole says: While we didn’t live together before marriage, we did start going through all our things and got settled into our new house where I lived until the wedding. Safe to say that the majority of my summer was spent cleaning, sorting and organizing our new home…every teacher’s dream for the summer months. 🙂 Also, I can’t forget the many trips to drop off car loads of donations at our neighborhood thrift store.

Pat says: I am so thankful to not be driving home to my parents house each night! I feel like multiple people told me it would be a big adjustment, but honestly I just feel like I am living with my best friend and get to come home to her all the time. Can’t wait to get into a routine now that we are back from Italy.

6. Retreats and Reflections

Pat says: I had an amazing time at a men’s retreat with a Catholic Community up in Minnesota. It was a great reminder that we as men are called to be fathers and imitate God the Father. We were made in His image and we act like The Father by providing and bringing people to the Lord.

7. We’ve kept Hallmark in business

Pat says: Nicole and I love cards (especially our hometown company Hallmark). We love finding unique cards for our friends and family. Also, Nicole and I exchange cards often. However, this year in particular had some gems (especially since we could count down till the wedding). Watch this singing birthday card Nicole got me!

8. Pat STILL didn’t join a gym

Pat says: I know, I know… (thanks for calling me out Nicole!!) Unfortunately this year I did not keep up with my Insanity workout routine like I planned. At least now we can save money with a YMCA family pass. Look for an update on this in 2014.

9. The year of transition (a.k.a. weddings and babies)

Nicole says: Without a doubt, this year will be known as the year of transitions. The transition to engagement and newlywed life was obviously at the forefront for us both. However, for me the transition of moving back to KC, starting a new job and graduate school cannot be overlooked. Aside from the transitions in our own lives, some of those closest to us were experiencing their own transitions as well from weddings to babies and sometimes both.

10. Partying with family and friends

Nicole says: No doubt marrying Pat was wonderful, but truth be told my favorite part of the wedding weekend was spending time with all our family and friends. There is something so humbling in the knowledge that all these people, from all different aspects and eras of our lives came together to celebrate our entrance into this lifelong vocation. Words could not begin to describe my appreciation for each and every one of those people.

11. We traveled

Nicole says: We really got around this year. Here is a short list of places we were lucky enough to visit together. Chicago, IL, Houston, TX, Atchison, KS, Lincoln, NE, and of course Italy (Rome, Umbria, Tuscany, Assisi, Siena and Venice).

Pat says: I also did a whirlwind tour for work including Memphis, TN, Boston, MA (for the 2013 Catholic New Media Conference), Austin, TX, Marianna, AR, Los Angeles, CA.

12. We started learning and using NFP

Nicole says: It has been a journey for sure and they weren’t kidding when they told us it would be difficult. Difficulties aside I can without a doubt see the benefits of using NFP as opposed to any other form of family planning. It is giving me a deeper appreciation for my husband and is teaching me how to love him WELL. While it isn’t a cake walk, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

13. The continual rise of online entertainment

Pat says: It’s no surprise that this year brought a slew of new online hits. We learned what the Fox says, heard inspiring messages from Kid President, saw Taylor Swift do a duet with some goats and many other Internet sensations. I hope that the New Year brings with it a fresh crop of videos with higher standards than twerking and the Harlem Shake. So I thought that this baby joyriding on a Roomba is probably the best way to end 2013… and it is ever-so-appropriately set to the 2006 hit “Ridin'” by Chamillionaire.

We look forward to sharing another great year with you. So many good things to come. God bless and have a Happy New Year!

We met Pope Francis and took a selfie with him!

December 18, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 0 Comments

As you may know, we recently got married. For our honeymoon we are in Italy. Today we paid a visit to the Vatican for a Papal audience. And guess what? We met Pope Francis! (YES, we said met Pope Francis)

We captured this special moment in our own way by snapping a ‘selfie’ with the Holy Father on Saint Peter’s Square. See our Pope selfie photo in our tweet below:

Bucket list: Meet the pope & take a selfie with the him… Check! #Catholic #thisisreallife pic.twitter.com/1wOS399pMG

— Couple of Catholics (@CoupleCatholics) December 18, 2013

We are so grateful to share this experience (and our papal selfie) with you and his blessing of our friends/family. A quick shout out to the Archdiocese of Kansas City, KS for getting us special newlywed or “Sposi Novelli” tickets. This was an incredible way to start off our marriage (with a blessing from Papa Francisco)… and Pope Francis is clearly a master at taking selfies.

Anyway, we bring back his blessing for all our friends, family and readers. We prayed for all of you while we were in Rome. God bless!

The Meaning of Marriage – A Response to TIME’s The Childfree Life

September 22, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 0 Comments

Recently Time Magazine came out with a cover story, “The Childfree Life”, which has generated lots of controversy. While I could add to the conversation by inserting my own opinion, this is not the time for that because ultimately it isn’t really about whether or not a person wants children. When opinions and emotions are striped away from this debate, we find we are left with more than simply a difference in lifestyle choice. We are looking at a difference in core philosophy–a philosophy of our whole understanding of the meaning of marriage.

What is the purpose of marriage?

As my fiancé and I count down the days til our nuptials, we are not only excited for the wedding day; we are excited for the a lifetime together. More specifically, we are thrilled to fulfill our vocational call to marriage. As we see it, there are two reasons people can and should get married.

Marriage is unitive. We love each other so much we are choosing to spend the rest of our lives together (all of it…the ups, downs, heartaches and joys). When we say our marriage vows we are committing ourselves to one another, no matter how difficult it will prove to be at times. Why? We want to spend the rest of our lives helping each other become the best people we can be. Aside from helping one another grow, marriage is uniting with another person in the deepest sense of the word. It is the journey of two becoming one – intellectually, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Human beings are made for community, more so we are made for companionship. This intimate companionship can be found in marriage.

Marriage is meant to be procreative. Marriage finds its culmination in the procreation and rearing of children. Marriage is so much more than Patrick and I’s love for one another. Yes that is part of it and a crucial one at that, but getting married without the intention to have children is like stopping short of home base. Love is to be shared and propagated. Marriage will be difficult. There is no denying that. It will take a lifetime to learn and cultivate true selflessness. I fully expect that there will be many times when Pat will irritate and annoy me, but what better reminder would I have of my call to love him than my children? Just in case I ever forget why I love Pat, children will be a continuous reminder of the love we share — a mini me in the next room ramming his toy trucks into the wall.

You see, marriage is not an end in itself. Marriage is the foundation for a life full of opportunities for continual selflessness. This self-giving will be perpetuated in parenthood when our days will be drenched with moments to take care of another, a child who cannot take care of himself. These are opportunities over and over again to step outside of our own selfish world and care for another. This is the point of marriage as we see it. Others may disagree, exclaiming that marriage has a singular purpose–to be committed to another person and enjoy life’s many blessings. To those of you out there we don’t disagree, but joy and happiness for us is not the end goal. The fulfillment of our marriage will be in our selfless choices to love each other and our family.

Man films one second each day of wifes pregnancy

Husband Creates a Time-laspe Video of Wife’s Pregnancy and the Result is Beautiful

September 9, 2013 / Patrick Padley / 0 Comments

Looking for a smile today? From Buzzfeed to Patheos, this video has been making the rounds on the Web. A Colorado man named Danny Pier, created a time-lapsed video of his wife’s pregnancy. On his Vimeo page Danny explains, “inspired by other second-a-day videos, my wife and I decided to capture 9 months of pregnancy with our first child.” The result is a collection of short moments, which culminates with the birth of their daughter, and it is incredibly heartwarming. Also, I totally want to be friends with them—seriously, ski trips, hiking, cool dogs, vacations and road trips all in a 9-month period of time? We need to hang out some time…

As a soon to be husband, I hope that one day I can honor my wife’s gift of motherhood in a similar way.

Living Together Before Marriage - HuffPost LIVE

Love on Purpose: Our Interview with HuffPost Live

September 1, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 0 Comments

Last Thursday Patrick and I found ourselves as guests among a panel of others with HuffPost Live, a real-time network news source. This segment’s discussion surrounded itself around a recent study, which suggests that couples living together before marriage have a higher chance of getting divorced than those who wait until they are married to live together. (Yeah cause we’ve never seen anything like this come out before)

Regardless of one’s religion or spiritual beliefs, no one desires for a romantic relationship to fail. Time and again though, studies like these seem to make an appearance about every 10 years. So why aren’t people catching on?

Think what you may about cohabitation, but there is one basic point that failed to be articulated during this segment; what is the purpose of romantic relationships?

Companionship

This is an obvious one. The reason people flirt, hangout, date and eventually marry one another is for companionship. We are all looking for another that we can share our lives with, someone to join us in the ups, downs, trials and victories. Life is better shared.

At our deepest level, we all want to be known by another. We desire to be accepted and loved for who we truly are. In turn, we also want to deeply know someone. We desire to know them so completely and intimately in order to better love them.

Procreation

While there is plenty to say on the topic of children, ultimately a marriage finds a certain fulfillment in bringing life into this world. Regardless of whether you want children or not, the point cannot be denied that one of the basic purposes of marriage is to repopulate the world.

Self-Improvement

My relationship with Patrick is not meant to be easy. It isn’t even meant to always make me happy. Happiness is fleeting and moods are shifting, mine particularly. There are some days when Patrick annoys me to no end, and I’m sure there are plenty of times when he feels the same way towards me.

Relationships are meant to smooth out our rough edges. It isn’t until we are intimately placed face to face before another that we realize how imperfect we actually are. The same qualities that drive me to insanity about Patrick are the same qualities that attracted me to him in the first place.

I know it sounds hard and it is, but the joy that comes from this is truly lasting and like nothing I have ever experienced before. Love is not about making us happy at any given moment. It is not about making sure that my foolish insecurities are calmed. It is about sacrifice, choice and ultimately making us better, more generous people; better for each other and better for the world.

Watch Us on HuffPost Live

The Value of Women: A Message to My Fellow Men and Society

August 20, 2013 / Patrick Padley / 3 Comments

To my fellow-men–

Listen up!

This past week I was driving home and heard the following story on the radio:

I was in the supermarket waiting in line to check out. Behind me was a mother and her 13-year-old daughter. The mom had clearly gotten a boob job. As the daughter started admiring the celebrities on the tabloid magazines, the mother put her hands on the daughter’s shoulders and looked up from her breasts toward her daughter’s chest. “If you want to be like them, we’re going to have to get you a set of these.”

The radio host followed up by chastising the woman, exclaiming that she was a terrible example of a mother. The mom was reinforcing the view of our culture–that the worth of a woman is based solely on her looks.

After digesting this story of the current state of our society’s view on women, I am reminded of Archbishop Fulton Sheen‘s quote:

“To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.”

― Fulton J. Sheen, Life Is Worth Living

The Church on the Dignity of Women

You don’t need to look far to see that the Catholic Church tends to get a bad wrap for how it approaches women’s issues. While there are plenty of misconceptions from either side of this topic, I think it is fair to say that this mindset springs from the ideals of the liberal feminist movement, which pushes the pro-choice agenda, contraception and women’s equality by presenting it under the guise of women’s rights.

Now let me make myself clear, I am not saying women should be treated any less than equal to men, but treating someone equally and treating someone the same are two different things. If people would simply stop and do a little bit of research into what the Church truly believes and the logic behind this belief they would see that the Catholic Church is one of the few organizations fighting for women’s dignity.

My friends, the Church can not fight for women’s dignity alone. It begins with us.

Gentlemen, we in a distinct way are called to respect our female counterparts. As protectors at heart, we need to man up and put some action behind the Church’s teaching. From pornography to contraception, there is too much in our society that diminishes the spirit of women. I am fed up with this B.S., we can do better men.

A Challenge For Men

Even though the value of women is not held highly in our society, I challenge you (myself included) to hold women in higher esteem. It starts with small things. The next time you see a woman wearing revealing clothing, instead of checking her out, say a quick prayer for her.

Single guys, do not rush into a relationship and drag a woman’s heart along for the ride. Set boundaries for your relationships that are respectful to a lady.

If you are married, the next time you speak to your wife, praise her for the gift her femininity brings to your life and the life of your family. Thank her for the sacrifice of motherhood.

If you are a father, tell your daughter she is beautiful, not just pretty… Beautiful. Let her know that you delight in her as our Heavenly Father delights in each of His children.

A cultural shift does not just happen overnight. It begins and ends in the heart of every man. So men, join me and let us begin today!

A Couple of Catholics