You did it. You and your soon to be spouse finally agreed upon a photographer, picked out coordinating outfits (or not so coordinating) and set aside some time to get your engagement photos done. You’ve spent money on these lovely portraits now what are you suppose to do with them? You and your fiancé are only this young and beautiful once so why not showcase your attractiveness in a creative and fun way? Here are a few ways to use your engagement photos for the wedding and your blissful life together afterwards.
1) Save the Date.
This one is an obvious choice. You can easily have your save the dates made through websites like snapfish or shutterfly at a reasonable cost. If you are feeling a bit more creative you can take a shot at making some yourself with Photoshop or Apple Pages.
2) Shower Décor.
There are lots of ways to incorporate your photos into bridal showers and bachelorette parties. Some are little more exciting than others. The floating chandelier is super easy to do for anyone who wants to add a touch of personalization to the party. Another easy way to display your and your beau’s pics is through garland.
3) Wedding Website.
My fiancé and I created a one-stop shop wedding website for our guests to peruse and find out all they need to know about our big day. Our engagement photos work as nice accents and backgrounds for the site. Need some ideas, check it out: www.patplusnicole.com
4) Cake Topper.
Pat and I will definitely be doing this for our wedding in November. It’s an inexpensive, DIY touch that adds a personal flair to your cake .
5) Centerpieces.
At first glance this might sound a little boring or uncreative, but there a numerous ways to use your photos as part of a larger centerpiece. Pintrest has plenty of ideas to inspire you. I personally love these DIY vintage photo mason jars.
6) Decorate your home.
I’m not simply implying that you throw your pictures in a few frames and hang it on the wall (although you can do that too), rather make something a little more unique. Check out this photo letter art. Better yet, try your DIY skills with this shabby chic picture window.
Well there you have it. That’s the best I’ve got. Have any other creative ways to use engagement photos? Share them with us in the comments below.
After Patrick and I’s dramatic and comical introduction, life assumed as usual. He didn’t call me. He didn’t text me. We didn’t hang out, except occasionally with groups of friends. While he did take his time in pursuing me, what impressed me most about Patrick is that he was the first man I met in a long time who was intentional and deliberate. He knew what he was about.
After our first meeting, I did my best to push him out of my mind and go about my normal life. After all, I lived an hour away from KC. I had plenty going on in my day-to-day life that kept me busy. So why would this guy make anything different? Yet for some reason, I couldn’t seem to let go of the feeling I had while in line for confession. Nearly two months passed and I continued to try to forget this guy. Then one simple prayer before Mass changed everything.
The day was a routine Saturday. Clare and I drove to KC to hit up the Plaza Art Fair. This was a must, not because we are avid art-lovers, but rather avid people-watchers. We met up with Paul, Pat, and some other friends to hang out. I distinctly recall being quite frustrated during that afternoon for multiple reasons, the main one being that I couldn’t get over this crush. I was frustrated that I cared so much about this guy while he seemingly had no interest in me at all. I was frustrated with myself that I couldn’t just let it go and enjoy his friendship. I was mostly annoyed with God. I mean seriously…I was open to His will. His will didn’t seem to be Pat, so why was I getting so caught up in my emotions? All of these annoyances were weighing on me during that autumn afternoon, and I had just about had enough.
Clare and I decided part with the group to go to evening Mass. As I walked into Our Lady of Perpetual Help I was overcome with emotion…mostly the urgency to pray. We found a pew, I knelt down, pouring out all my emotions and frustrations to God…almost to the point of tears. Moments before Mass began I felt covered in a sense of peace and then one single phrase came to mind: “Relax. Rest in me. It will all make sense tonight.”
I don’t why this of all phrases came to mind. As usual, though I brushed it off as my own craziness and nothing to be paid much attention to. However, life was about to present me with different plans as it so often does.
After Mass, Clare and I once again met up with a group of friends to go country dancing…chuckle you might, but this is a legitimate and rather enjoyable pastime in the Midwest. Patrick insists that he was flirting with me all night, I beg to disagree. In fact, I was convinced that he wanted nothing to do with me.
Late into the evening as things we coming to a close, Pat and I were on the dance floor. He confidently led me through a two-step as I fumbled along pretending I was an experienced dancer. I can recall making note that his palms seemed quite sweaty for the occasion, still, I didn’t think much of it. As the song was reaching its last refrain, he asked me out. He didn’t ask to hang out sometime, or grab coffee. He didn’t clumsily ask to go to dinner. He confidently and without skipping a beat asked me if I wanted to go out on a date.
One of the earliest things I can recall appreciating about Patrick was his sense of pursuit. He made his intentions clear, and later that night as Clare and I were driving back to Atchison he called me at two in the morning to make plans for our date. All I could think was wow, this guy knew what he was about and what could be more charming than that?
I am officially a nomad until I get married in November. I moved out of my house and am temporarily living with my parents. Life would be much easier if my fiancé and I were living together. Practical problems like financial pressures would make moving in with her a good solution. From my rough calculation, Nicole and I would save about $300 per month (money that would be nice to have for our honeymoon). However, there is value in waiting to live together until after you are married. Below are the reasons I’m waiting to move in until after I say, “I do.”
I want my marriage to last
The fact of the matter is that couples who cohabit before marriage tend to be less satisfied with their marriages — and more likely to divorce — than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect. There is a big difference between a permanent bond such as marriage and just living together in a conditional relationship.
It’s easier to slip into marriage
Often after living with your significant other for a long time, a wedding seems like something you should do. Getting married should not be a default next step. Marriage is an active and conscious decision to say that you will love and be committed to this person for your lifetime. By living together before marriage, you don’t get space (literally) to take a step back and objectively decide whether this person is truly meant to be your spouse.
A lot of people say, “I can only marry someone if he or she agrees to live together first so that we can find out whether we really get along.” Many think that this a good way to avoid divorce. This logic is flawed. Women and men see moving in together differently. Women are more likely to view cohabitation as a step toward marriage while men are more likely to see it as a way to test a relationship or postpone commitment.
The more important question is, what is there to test? I’ve dated Nicole for over a year and a half. I think I know how my fiancé lives her life. True, I may not fully understand all her nuances, but these are all part of the excitement (and struggle) of marriage.
I want to keep the spark alive
One of the beautiful things about marriage and the engagement period is its mystery. If we had lived together when I proposed, it would have made that hugely romantic gesture a lot less momentous. Most of the romance comes from the idea that the man and woman are entering into a huge new commitment together. If you’re already engaging in all the intimacy and sacrifice that comes with making a home together, the excitement fizzles away.
Part of what keeps the spark alive is a couple experiencing new things together. Moving in together seems pretty new and monumental wouldn’t you say?
I don’t want my wedding to be lame
Living together before marriage makes most wedding traditions meaningless. What is the point of a bachelor party? The honeymoon turns into just a fun trip and lacks a certain specialness. Lastly, the symbolism of a father walking his daughter down the aisle is lost given that it’s supposed to show the woman leaving her home and making a new one with her husband.
Chastity smastity
I decided to wait to have sex until marriage long before I met Nicole. One of the hardest things for guys to do is to say goodbye to their honeys at the end of the night (it’s even worse when you are engaged). Living together would only make chaste living that much more difficult.
I like to be unique
According to the New York Times, cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the last half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation. Why should I be like everyone else?
In today’s complex world, I can see how living together before marriage would seem to simplify things. However, more and more I’m convinced that the sacrifices are well worth the benefits of waiting to make a home until after the wedding.
Have thoughts, leave them in the comments below or tweet us @CoupleCatholics.
There aren’t many parts of planning a wedding that I have truly enjoyed, but registering for gifts that others will buy me has been enjoyable. It is easy to get overwhelmed by the registry process, but not to worry, I’ve come up with a list of practical wedding registry tips to keep in mind when tackling this aspect of the engagement adventure.
1. Start with general ideas of what you need.
Go with categories here people. Consider what rooms you need to fill. What do you or your fiancé already have? Where are you going to be living after the wedding? Before you even step foot into a store jot down a list of must have items for both you and your fiancé.
Wanna look over a wedding registry checklist? Here are some helpful links:
Not all of your guests are going to have the same budget, but many will spend more on you than you would ever spend on yourself. The key here is to give your guests options. The more options you give them the better. Try to select stores that cater to different price points. Also, keep in mind the geography of your guest list. If most of your guest are coming from a ruaral small town that barely has a Target, you probably want to think about registering there instead of that high-end department store in your city.
Before you get all scanner happy, be sure to check out the return policy. Some places are definitely easier to work with than others. My recommendation… Bed, Bath and Beyond. They have a great return policy and the sales associates there are great at helping you get started.
3. Try to keep an open mind.
You and your soon to be spouse will most likely have different décor flares. Just like marriage the art of compromise will come in handy. If you find yourself at a stand-off there is no rule that says you can’t get more than one.
4. If you want it, scan it.
Chances are you will be making many rounds of returns later. So, if you are on the fence about an item, my advice is to scan it. This also goes for things you would like, but might feel they are unnecessary (i.e. back massage chair). Scan it anyway. No harm in asking right? If there are certain items you really want be sure to scan them at multiple stores. You’ll have the best chance of getting it this way.
5. Don’t scan seasonal items and think quality.
Be sure to avoid seasonal or sale items cause they probably won’t be around when your guests go shopping for you. Also, focus on quality. There is only one time in your life that you can ask for free stuff, so why not get something that will last a lifetime.
6. Don’t bring an entourage.
The fewer involved the better…you and spouse, not entourage. The more people that are involved, the more opinions you will have to listen to. These people don’t have to live with this stuff for the next 30 years…you and your spouse will.
7. There aren’t any rules.
Just because your mother is insistent upon registering for some nice china, doesn’t mean you need to do it. Same goes for sales people… take advice but go with gut. You are the ones who have got live with it later.
One final word, registering is time consuming. Be prepared to set aside a good chunk of time. I would say about 2-4 hours. Patrick and I spent 6 hours in the first trip. If you can’t make it that long, then stop. This is going to be a multiple trip process anyway. So when you stop caring, stop scanning. This process can be stressful at times, but in my experience this is also one of the best parts of engagement. So don’t hold back. Scan away and enjoy the process. Once you get the hang of it you’ll find yourself on a roll.
Got more wedding registry tips, let me know in the comments below.
As Patrick and I prepare for a lifetime together I find it fitting that we take a moment to recall our beginnings. Every couple enjoys telling the story of how they met and we are no exception. Just as the saying goes, “when you aren’t searching for it, someone great comes along.” This is exactly what happened when I met Pat. In August of 2011, I had just returned to Kansas after spending the summer with a friend in Houston.
A co-worker and now my maid of honor, Clare and I decided to get out of Atchison for the evening and head to Kansas City…a trip we made all too often. Once in KC, we heard about a Catholic, young adult event that would be happening that evening. This was totally our style…adoration followed by a BBQ. Needless to say, we were in.
At Saint Peter’s Catholic church as I stood in line for confession, a dashing, albeit very tall man walked by and immediately caught my eye. (Have you seen him, folks… I mean how could he not?) It was in this moment that I distinctly recall experiencing a sense that some would call coincidence, I, on the other hand like to call it a God-poke. Due to many previous experiences in my life, I believe that our God is a God who can and at moments does directly work in our lives. Anyway, I sensed that this man…this tall, unknown man would soon be playing a crucial role in my life. This intuition made me quite uncomfortable. I tried to brush it off as nothing more than my emotions running away from me again, little did I realize the significance of it all.
Fast forward to the BBQ later that evening in the pastor’s backyard, Clare and I couldn’t find a seat. We decided to make ourselves cozy next to the beer coolers. I would never describe myself as boy-crazy by any stretch of the imagination, but for some reason or another, I couldn’t shake the feeling that God was at work.
As I mingled around, chatting with friends and enjoying my Boulevard Wheat, I was still trying to play it cool and pretend as if all was well. Meanwhile, my mind was running off in thousands of directions. I attempted to conjure up every excuse I could think of to brush it off. Amusing myself with ideas like, ‘He probably already has a girlfriend.’ ‘He would never be interested in me anyway.’ There’s always my personal favorite; ‘Nicole you’re crazy… making this all up in your mind.’
Toward the end of the evening a college friend of mine, Paul wandered over to Clare and me to catch up. While filling him in on all my Houston adventures, Pat came over to say hello to Paul. Naturally, Paul introduced us…and then it happened…a line that has gone down as one of the stupidest things you could say to a stranger.
I want to stress how important it is that you recall all the random comments I had heard about Pat in the past few years. This makes what I said to a mere stranger seem a little less bizarre.
And so the conversation went…
Paul: “Nicole, this is Pat Padley.”
Me: “Wait…you’re Pat Padley?”
Pat: “Ugh..yeah.”
Me: “Oh my gosh, it’s the man, the myth and the legend.”
Yes, I actually said that.
I immediately realized he had no idea who I was and in my mortified state I tried to backtrack as best I could. I followed this awesome moment in time by attempting to explain that I knew his brother, Nick, but it was too late. The image of Pat staring at me with a blank and utterly confused look on his face will forever be burned in my mind as the moment I met my future husband.
Thankfully, this sort foot-in-mouth disorder is one I’ve been coping with since childhood, so I’ve gotten pretty good at recovering from the awkward situations I all too often find myself in. I laughed it off as nothing more than me being dramatic, which is basically what it was. Lucky for me even God can work with the foot-in-mouth disorder and bring the best out of it. Only time and a few more Boulevards would help me recover from this one.
As a reader of this blog, it is important that you realize a few things about me before I begin the saga of Pat and I’s journey to the altar. One, I love to tell stories and details are important. Two, I believe that God actively works in our lives. In this case, He has worked in a perfectly entertaining and unexpected way.
To set the scene for you all, back in 2008 I was working as a youth minister and Pat was working in video production. We had never met and wouldn’t until 2011. He was dating someone else at the time and so was I. We were both perfectly happy and had wonderful things ahead of us. Then God decided to shake things up a bit.
I can recall many late Sunday nights working in the youth room with my co-worker, Brian and Pat’s older brother, Nick, who volunteered with us. On more than one occasion the two of them would invite me to go out for drinks or just to hang out always try to entice me by telling me that I really needed to meet this guy, Pat. The phrase “you two would just get along great” seems to sound familiar to me. I always declined mostly because I was tired and lazy and a few extra hours of sleep seemed more appealing than chilling with some random guy and my co-workers.
Comments like this came up in conversations more than I would like to admit, and not just from my co-workers but other friends too. Here and there I would hear people mention him in passing, describing him as “really cool,” “really tall” and insisting that I meet him. Beyond these friends and coworkers merely encouraging me to meet him, more often than not they seem shocked that my life had not been privileged enough to cross paths with such an outstanding specimen.
Now if you know me at all, you know that I am rarely impressed. We’re all just people anyway and seriously nobody can be that cool. I mean it’s not Jesus we are talking about here. This Pat fella…he’s just a guy or so I thought. Little did I know what God had up His sleeve. Find out what happened next in part two of this four-part saga.
Pat and I have been knee deep in wedding planning. After weeks and weeks of searching online, calling people, leaving messages and setting up times to visit we can finally rest in the fact that progress has been made. We have a church, a priest, a DJ, a photographer and yes FINALLY…we have a venue. Cue the hallelujahs and heavenly hymns.
Just as every good Catholic couple planning their nuptials, we have recently begun our Natural Family Planning classes.
Contrary to many who might feel uneasy or uncomfortable in a situation like this, Pat and I were rather excited to begin learning about NFP. I mean, after all, we get to talk about sex and what could be bad about that?
Aside from the fact that artificial contraception directly goes against our moral beliefs, we were looking forward to all the positives of going all-natural on this one. Positives? Like what you ask.
While there are plenty of people who know a whole lot more about this Natural Family Planning than I do…here are a few of the reasons I am stoked to get to it naturally.
1. I’m marrying for keeps.
I’m not sure about you, but I plan on this whole wedding/marriage being a one-time thing. Just as the countless others who take that leap of faith and walk down the aisle I hope and pray for a joyful, fulfilling and life-giving marriage. I want Pat to always cherish and love me in the way he does now. Likewise, I hope to always respect and honor Pat as my husband just as I strive to now. From all that I’ve read and heard about NFP I can only conclude that this type of family planning will support our hopes for marriage as this method promotes conversation between spouses about the future of their family.
2. Why pay for sex?
Simply stated, depending on the method you use NFP is free once you’ve learned the basics. I’m choosing to work with my body’s natural fertility to either postpone or plan a pregnancy. No trips to CVS to fill a prescription and pick up some condoms. I don’t know about you but a shopping spree sounds much more appealing to me than buying rubbers.
3. I’m going green.
I’ve never been one to jump on the bandwagon, but when it comes to personal health I’m on board. For all you vegans, vegetarians, carnivores or whatever else floats your boat…take a look at NFP.
A recent blog I stumbled upon (www.iusenfp.com) gives a good explanation of some of the harms associated with hormonal contraceptives. “One of the active ingredients in most hormonal contraceptives is estrogen which has been classified by the World Health Organization as a Class 1 carcinogen. What’s a Class 1 carcinogen, you ask? It’s a chemical with sufficient evidence proving its carcinogenicity to humans. Other chemicals that share this distinction are arsenic, asbestos, silica dust, and tobacco. Another chemical that is in Depo-Provera (the shot) is depo-medroxyprogesterone acetate (DMPA) which has been linked with a 2.2 increase in breast cancer.”
That’s right folks Natural Family Planning is not the rhythm method your grandmother used in the 1930s and 1940s. NFP works with all women’s cycles: irregular or not. In fact compared to other popular forms of birth control NFP does quite well in measures of effectiveness. NFP measures at a 99% effectiveness rate comparing with the Pill at 99% and condoms at 97%.
Now, of course, it must be stated that these measures of effectiveness are based on proper use.
If you forget to talk the Pill one day and have sex you are taking a chance with pregnancy.
If a condom breaks or you choose not to use one, you are taking a chance.
Likewise, if your charting at peak ovulation time and decide to have sex, you are taking a chance.
The answer is I don’t. According to its own warning label, the Pill can cause a decrease in a women’s libido, leading her to lose interest in sex altogether. Don’t believe me just research it yourself. Countless sources repeat this over and over again. http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/0,,20326842,00.html
6. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
I don’t view my fertility as a problem to be fixed or an illness to be cured. Obviously, I’m a woman and just as all women I was created with ovaries. These ovaries of mine seem to work just fine so can someone please tell me why I would want to mess with my body if it is working just as it was created to work?
While maybe not today at some point in the future I would like to have children with this man I’m about to marry. So I personally would prefer not to mess with my fertility. This way when we do want to start a family there is nothing stopping us. Natural Family Planning is 100% reversible. On any given month Pat and I will be able to decide whether to postpone our family or get to making babies. On the other hand most hormonal birth control recommends that you stop use 3-4 months before you desire to get pregnant. 3-4 months and that is assuming all goes according to plan.
7. I snagged a stud like Pat by staying away from the Pill.
I realize that this final point doesn’t directly relate to why I’ve chosen to use NFP. However, it does reinforce my decision to keep in natural. A short video chalked full of interesting info. Enjoy!
Hi, we are Pat and Nicole! On this blog, we write about our faith, intentional living and the joys and struggles of married life. We share everything from life’s ups and downs to the just plain ridiculous all while keeping our eyes fixed on the Lord. More >>
