Author: Nicole Padley (Page 5 of 7)

We met Pope Francis and took a selfie with him!

December 18, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 0 Comments

As you may know, we recently got married. For our honeymoon we are in Italy. Today we paid a visit to the Vatican for a Papal audience. And guess what? We met Pope Francis! (YES, we said met Pope Francis)

We captured this special moment in our own way by snapping a ‘selfie’ with the Holy Father on Saint Peter’s Square. See our Pope selfie photo in our tweet below:

Bucket list: Meet the pope & take a selfie with the him… Check! #Catholic #thisisreallife pic.twitter.com/1wOS399pMG

— Couple of Catholics (@CoupleCatholics) December 18, 2013

We are so grateful to share this experience (and our papal selfie) with you and his blessing of our friends/family. A quick shout out to the Archdiocese of Kansas City, KS for getting us special newlywed or “Sposi Novelli” tickets. This was an incredible way to start off our marriage (with a blessing from Papa Francisco)… and Pope Francis is clearly a master at taking selfies.

Anyway, we bring back his blessing for all our friends, family and readers. We prayed for all of you while we were in Rome. God bless!

The Meaning of Marriage – A Response to TIME’s The Childfree Life

September 22, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 0 Comments

Recently Time Magazine came out with a cover story, “The Childfree Life”, which has generated lots of controversy. While I could add to the conversation by inserting my own opinion, this is not the time for that because ultimately it isn’t really about whether or not a person wants children. When opinions and emotions are striped away from this debate, we find we are left with more than simply a difference in lifestyle choice. We are looking at a difference in core philosophy–a philosophy of our whole understanding of the meaning of marriage.

What is the purpose of marriage?

As my fiancé and I count down the days til our nuptials, we are not only excited for the wedding day; we are excited for the a lifetime together. More specifically, we are thrilled to fulfill our vocational call to marriage. As we see it, there are two reasons people can and should get married.

Marriage is unitive. We love each other so much we are choosing to spend the rest of our lives together (all of it…the ups, downs, heartaches and joys). When we say our marriage vows we are committing ourselves to one another, no matter how difficult it will prove to be at times. Why? We want to spend the rest of our lives helping each other become the best people we can be. Aside from helping one another grow, marriage is uniting with another person in the deepest sense of the word. It is the journey of two becoming one – intellectually, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Human beings are made for community, more so we are made for companionship. This intimate companionship can be found in marriage.

Marriage is meant to be procreative. Marriage finds its culmination in the procreation and rearing of children. Marriage is so much more than Patrick and I’s love for one another. Yes that is part of it and a crucial one at that, but getting married without the intention to have children is like stopping short of home base. Love is to be shared and propagated. Marriage will be difficult. There is no denying that. It will take a lifetime to learn and cultivate true selflessness. I fully expect that there will be many times when Pat will irritate and annoy me, but what better reminder would I have of my call to love him than my children? Just in case I ever forget why I love Pat, children will be a continuous reminder of the love we share — a mini me in the next room ramming his toy trucks into the wall.

You see, marriage is not an end in itself. Marriage is the foundation for a life full of opportunities for continual selflessness. This self-giving will be perpetuated in parenthood when our days will be drenched with moments to take care of another, a child who cannot take care of himself. These are opportunities over and over again to step outside of our own selfish world and care for another. This is the point of marriage as we see it. Others may disagree, exclaiming that marriage has a singular purpose–to be committed to another person and enjoy life’s many blessings. To those of you out there we don’t disagree, but joy and happiness for us is not the end goal. The fulfillment of our marriage will be in our selfless choices to love each other and our family.

Living Together Before Marriage - HuffPost LIVE

Love on Purpose: Our Interview with HuffPost Live

September 1, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 0 Comments

Last Thursday Patrick and I found ourselves as guests among a panel of others with HuffPost Live, a real-time network news source. This segment’s discussion surrounded itself around a recent study, which suggests that couples living together before marriage have a higher chance of getting divorced than those who wait until they are married to live together. (Yeah cause we’ve never seen anything like this come out before)

Regardless of one’s religion or spiritual beliefs, no one desires for a romantic relationship to fail. Time and again though, studies like these seem to make an appearance about every 10 years. So why aren’t people catching on?

Think what you may about cohabitation, but there is one basic point that failed to be articulated during this segment; what is the purpose of romantic relationships?

Companionship

This is an obvious one. The reason people flirt, hangout, date and eventually marry one another is for companionship. We are all looking for another that we can share our lives with, someone to join us in the ups, downs, trials and victories. Life is better shared.

At our deepest level, we all want to be known by another. We desire to be accepted and loved for who we truly are. In turn, we also want to deeply know someone. We desire to know them so completely and intimately in order to better love them.

Procreation

While there is plenty to say on the topic of children, ultimately a marriage finds a certain fulfillment in bringing life into this world. Regardless of whether you want children or not, the point cannot be denied that one of the basic purposes of marriage is to repopulate the world.

Self-Improvement

My relationship with Patrick is not meant to be easy. It isn’t even meant to always make me happy. Happiness is fleeting and moods are shifting, mine particularly. There are some days when Patrick annoys me to no end, and I’m sure there are plenty of times when he feels the same way towards me.

Relationships are meant to smooth out our rough edges. It isn’t until we are intimately placed face to face before another that we realize how imperfect we actually are. The same qualities that drive me to insanity about Patrick are the same qualities that attracted me to him in the first place.

I know it sounds hard and it is, but the joy that comes from this is truly lasting and like nothing I have ever experienced before. Love is not about making us happy at any given moment. It is not about making sure that my foolish insecurities are calmed. It is about sacrifice, choice and ultimately making us better, more generous people; better for each other and better for the world.

Watch Us on HuffPost Live

Living Your Strengths with Gallup’s StrengthsFinder

August 7, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 0 Comments

I was introduced to Gallup’s StrengthsFinder in 2004. At the time didn’t think much of it, except that it was just another personality test. Nearly eight years would pass before I would revisit this. Once I did take the time to understand more about this motivational tool it changed my whole perspective on things; the way I view myself, the way I relate to others and most importantly the way I approach God.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with Strengths, allow me to give you a brief rundown.

What it is?

StrengthsFinder is an online assessment that pinpoints a person’s five most dominant talents from a list of 35 traits which research has shown are common among all types of people from every different age, race, socioeconomic and generational group. Each of these talents carries with it an action item that aids both personal and professional development. The entire purpose of StrenghtsFinder is not only to supply you with a better knowledge of yourself, but in addition gives you the tools to turn your talents into strengths.

What it isn’t?

StrengthsQuest is not simply another personality test, not if it is implemented correctly anyway. While it does measure a person’s typical characteristics, it allows its participants to actively engage in exercises that will help in their overall growth.

How to use Strengths for ones self

Knowledge of my own strengths has obviously impacted me, but before I delve any deeper into this it is important I first explain my top five. These are the talents that StrengthsFinder has found to be the five areas where I hold the most potential in order of it’s….

Achiever – I take great pride and satisfaction from working hard and being productive.

Focused – I can choose a direction or goal and follow it through to the end.

Learner – I have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve which is probably why I am so intrigued with Strengths.

Command – I have presence (or so I’m told). I can easily take control of a situation and make decisions.

Significance – I am independent (just ask my parents) and want my accomplishments to be valued.

StrengthsFinder has given me tools that I lacked before. It has allowed me to become less critical of myself. There is power in knowing who you are, and who you’re not. I know the areas in which I am already talented. This knowledge allows me to particularly tap into those talents. I am blessed with a natural skill in that area, so why not maximize it?

On the opposite hand, I am able to rest in the fact that there are just some things I am not as good at. That is not to say I couldn’t grow in any given area or another, but simply recognizes my weaknesses. The upside of this is that because I am aware of my talents, I can leverage these to grow in other areas.

How to apply Strengths with others

By understanding where other people’s talent lie I am able to better relate to them. Rather than working against another’s Strengths or trying to mold them into someone they aren’t I am able to more clearly see them for who they are. I am able to team up alongside them, allowing them the opportunity to tap into their own potential, while I can focus on what I can do well.

Take for example Pat’s top five:

Empathy – People with Empathy can easily sense the feelings of other people and relate to them in that experience.

Strategic – People who are especially talented in this theme create alternative ways to proceed when obstacles arise.

Ideation – People with talent in this area are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.

Connectedness – Those with talent in this theme have faith in the links between all things. There are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

Communication – Those with a talent in communication find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.

Insight into this aspect of him has helped me to appreciate that not everyone is like me. I know that sounds so simple and elementary, but honestly take a moment to think about how many times in the last 24 hours you’ve been annoyed that someone close to you has handled a situation in a slightly different way than you would have.

Anyone living in close quarters can attest that this happens all the time. We ruffle each other’s feathers. Knowledge of another person’s Strengths helps me to recognize the positive aspects of personality quirks that would be otherwise annoying to me. It ultimately helps me love others better, allowing them opportunities to apply their strengths in any given situation.

Our relationship with God

Last but not least, knowledge of my own Strengths has shaped the way I approach God. This knowledge of myself has helped me to better know my Creator; who He is and what He is about. He is the One who has given me these talents, and He is the perfection of my talents.

In addition to this, an awareness of my talents has helped me pinpoint spiritual capabilities as well as my temptations. I am able to concretely grasp significant points of my personality and bring these traits before the Lord, allowing Him to work with me through them.

UPDATE:

Here is my crash course in understanding your Strengths. I recently presented this to the Gregorian Fellows at Benedictine College.

Leading With Your Strengths – Crash Course in Gallup StrengthsFinder

Want to learn more?

Check out the following books: StrengthsFinder 2.0, Strengths Based Leadership, Living Your Strengths

Natural Family Planning: What’s Your Model?

July 27, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 2 Comments

As Natural Family Planning week draws to a close, I feel it’s important to distinguish between a few of the methods available. Since Patrick and I are preparing for our wedding day, we decided that it is important for both of us to understand my fertility so that we can together make responsible parenting decisions.

NFP offers a few different methods available to those looking for an alternative to birth control. I’ve laid out a brief description of the methods I am personally familiar with; Creighton Model and Symto-Thermal. I am also aware of the Marquette Method, but since I have no personal experience with that method I will leave the description to its experts.

Creighton Model

Sample Creighton Model Chart

The Creighton Model Fertility Care System (CrMS.) was introduced by Dr. Thomas Hilgers and fittingly named after where his research is based in Omaha, Nebraska. This is not your grandmother’s rhythm method. It involves tracking a woman’s vaginal mucus every day, every time you use the bathroom. A women’s time of fertility is determined by the mucus’s color, stretchability, and sensation.

The advantages are numerous. It is effective for any women’s cycle; regular or not so regular. It is inexpensive, running around $40 each time I visit my practitioner. Initially, I was setting up appointments with her more regularly in order to learn this method. Now that I’ve had some practice, I usually schedule a visit once or twice a year just to check in with her. This is much cheaper than birth control, which depending on your insurance coverage can cost up to $50 a month. Yikes…I’d rather spend that money going out to dinner with my husband.

Another advantage to using this method is that it seems more and more doctors are becoming familiar with it. Therefore, they can offer advice on any potential concerns there might be. This method can help you both achieve and avoid pregnancy.

Sympto-Thermal Method

Sample Sympto-Thermal Chart

Sympto-Thermal is another popular method used. STM was first organized in 1971. It combines the cervical mucus observations as popularized by Dr. Billings, the basal body temperature observations noted in the 1930s by Rev. Wilhelm Hillebrand and adds the optional observation of cervical position. In charting these three primary signs of fertility, a couple can determine their fertile and infertile times.

A woman practicing the STM model takes her temp with a basal thermometer at the same time every morning before getting up and beginning her day. (I like this 3M thermometer because it is cheap and continues beeping at the end) Throughout the day, she tracks her mucus pattern similar to Creighton just not as in-depth. She and her husband then use signs from both her mucus pattern and temperature to determine which phase she is in; pre-peak, peak phase or post-peak and base their parenting decisions off of this knowledge.

Interested? Want to know more?

This is a very high-level overview of two of the most popular methods of Natural Family Planning. I realize there are other methods out there, but again since I’ve personally had no experience with them I leave it to others to explain. If you have questions, I recommend asking your local Catholic diocese or contacting one of the organizations below.

Do you use STM or the Creighton Model? What do you like about it? What do you hate? Tell us about it!

http://www.creightonmodel.com

http://ccli.org

www.nfpandme.com

iusenfp.com

DIY Project: Facelift for any lamp

July 14, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 0 Comments

Summer is the time for DIY projects. This week I gave one of my treasured thrift store lamps a facelift. It’s an easy project even the most novice of crafters, and it saved me buying a new lamp. In fact the total cost ran me less than 20 bucks. So here is how you too can spruce up any old lamp.

Supplies Needed:

Yarn
Glue Gun
Painter’s Tape
Spray Paint + Primer

Step One:

Pick out whatever colors of yarn you like, I would recommend at least two or three colors. Decide on a pattern you want to do and if you are a newbie to this stick with something simple. Use a hot glue gun to adhere yarn to lampshade.

Note: Patience my friend, this is the most time-consuming part of the project. Go slow and don’t rush it. You want it to look nice in the end don’t you?

Step Two:

Make sure to clean off lamp stand before you begin any painting or priming. Usually I would recommend using separate primer before you even begin painting, but with a piece this small a combined paint and primer worked just fine.

Tape off any parts of the lamp stand you see fit.

Step Three:

Spray paint to your little hearts content or until you have finished covering the lamp stand. Wait to dry and voila!

The First Date (How We Met Part 4 of 4)

June 30, 2013 / Nicole Padley / 0 Comments

You know how people always tell you that when you are in love, you’ll just know it. That phrase always annoyed me growing up. Although I can’t say that I knew on our first date that I would grow to love and eventually marry Patrick, I did know that he was something different and that this could potentially turn into something more.

As I recounted earlier, one of the initial traits that really impressed me about this guy was the way he lived with such intention. On the drive back to Atchison later that evening at 2 a.m. Pat called to make plans for our date. I don’t recall much about the conversation except that we decided to plan to meet up the following afternoon.

This guy wasn’t about to waste any time and while some women might think this a bit too forward, I was flattered. Finally, a man who was willing to step up and well, be a man. It was refreshing.

SEE ALSO: How We Met Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3

The next day was spent prepping and primping as any lady would, even though we would never confess to such vain behavior. Patrick arrived on campus a little late only because he got lost. I didn’t mind though. I was so thrilled to finally have a date with this charmer. I mean I’d been waiting for nearly two months another half hour wouldn’t kill me.

When he finally did arrive on campus I met him at the campus church. As soon as he got out of the car to greet me, I suggested we begin our date with a prayer in one of the chapels. This ladies and gentlemen was a very strategic move on my part. I suggested this not only for the sake of paying honor to God and calming my nerves, but most importantly to test him out a little bit. After all, anyone can go to a young adult social and call themselves Catholic, but only people truly striving for holiness wouldn’t be utterly freaked out by this…and probably even some of them would be.

Intensity is my trademark and if this guy couldn’t handle a little awkward praying, then he sure wasn’t cut out to deal with my dramatics. Even though Pat thought this a little strange he went along with my idea and nervously led us in prayer. Ding….one point on the board for Pat Padley.

Next, I hopped in his hot ride (a Hyundai Sonata) and we hit the town… well, the neighboring town that is. Anyone who has ever visited Atchison, Kansas knows that this small community offers little to do for a budding romance.

We landed in Weston, MO and began our love story at Pirtle Winery. As Pat and I tasted the various wines, flirting shamelessly and trying to put our best foot forward we met a charming saleswoman with a distinct Southern drawl by the name of Miriam. She innocently inquired how long Pat and I had been married. Patrick, of course, thought he was scoring points; I turned all varying pigments of red and remember being quite thankful at that moment that he was so tall since it allowed me to hide my embarrassment. Little did either of us realize the foreshadowing that was happening in our very midst.

As we finished our tasting of the local wine we decided to wander around a nearby state park. We talked and talked and talked some more. Well Pat did, I was a little bit tipsy from the wine. Self-conscious I would say something ridiculous; I opted to play the mysterious card for a while.

We walked around the trails, which ultimately led us to the famous Weston State Park lookout where we enjoyed a breath-taking view of the sun setting behind a nearby power plant. Ah, the majestic sightseeing of the Midwestern plains. Seriously though, whose idea was it to have a state park’s lookout overseeing a power plant?!?! Only in Kansas, my friends…only in Kansas.

We ended the evening with dinner at my all-time favorite Irish pub, O’ Malley’s. There at the pub, we enjoyed live music, more conversation, and more beer. I know it sounds like we drank a lot on our first-date and come to think of it maybe that’s how he got me to agree to a second date.

Regardless, he did get a second date and a third with no alcohol involved. A year and a half later the conversation is still easy, he still makes me smile and he is still intentionally striving to honor and love me. I can only hope and pray that in 60 years I am continuing to return the favor.