A blog about faith, intentional living and the joys and struggles of married life.

Author: Patrick Padley (Page 3 of 3)

is a Kansas City-based new media creator, digital strategist, podcaster, musician, coffee addict and online marketing thinker. If you haven’t met Pat, or read his blog you’ve probably seen his work. As a Social Media Consultant at DEG, a digital consultancy in Kansas City, Pat advises clients on their online initiatives and marketing strategy. Pat has worked with companies such as Bushnell (backtrackgps.com), Rockport (social strategy – Facebook.com/Rockport), Timberland (community.timberland.com). In addition to strategy, Patrick has a focus in Web video and has produced content for for brands such as Timberland (www.YouTube.com/Timberland), the Kansas City Royals and Sonic. He is passionate about social media and the marketing opportunities it represents for clients. Patrick possesses a keen understanding of how the social channel and creative elements mix together to support marketing objectives.

Take a selfie on Ash Wednesday and post it with #AshTag

Even if you didn’t watch the Oscar’s this year, you probably at least saw Ellen’s epic selfie somewhere online. Ellen literally broke twitter (because her photo became so popular in such a short time). Since I work in social media, I’m always interested in taking what works in mainstream media and adapting it to better communicate as a church.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could get the word out about Lent and Ash Wednesday with the same viral power? Well, while browsing twitter, I came across an ingenious way to spread the Lenten love. Continue reading

How do your best days begin?

Sometimes, I have trouble starting my day off right. One thing I have discovered as I become more self-aware of what is happening within me and around me is that if a day doesn’t get off to a good start, it very rarely finishes as a good day.

Once a day gets away from us, we tend to go into survival mode. And a day can easily get away from us unless we consciously take the time to focus our priorities first thing each morning.

While listening to a Matthew Kelly talk, I found some clarity on my morning routine.

Continue reading

Husband Creates a Time-laspe Video of Wife’s Pregnancy and the Result is Beautiful

Looking for a smile today? From Buzzfeed to Patheos, this video has been making the rounds on the Web. A Colorado man named Danny Pier, created a time-lapsed video of his wife’s pregnancy. On his Vimeo page Danny explains, “inspired by other second-a-day videos, my wife and I decided to capture 9 months of pregnancy with our first child.” The result is a collection of short moments, which culminates with the birth of their daughter, and it is incredibly heartwarming. Also, I totally want to be friends with them—seriously, ski trips, hiking, cool dogs, vacations and road trips all in a 9-month period of time? We need to hang out some time…

As a soon to be husband, I hope that one day I can honor my wife’s gift of motherhood in a similar way.

The Value of Women: A Message to My Fellow Men and Society

To my fellow-men–

Listen up! 

This past week I was driving home and heard the following story on the radio:

I was in the supermarket waiting in line to check out. Behind me was a mother and her 13-year-old daughter. The mom had clearly gotten a boob job. As the daughter started admiring the celebrities on the tabloid magazines, the mother put her hands on the daughter’s shoulders and looked up from her breasts toward her daughter’s chest. “If you want to be like them, we’re going to have to get you a set of these.”

The radio host followed up by chastising the woman, exclaiming that she was a terrible example of a mother. The mom was reinforcing the view of our culture–that the worth of a woman is based solely on her looks.

After digesting this story of the current state of our society’s view on women, I am reminded of Archbishop Fulton Sheen‘s quote:

“To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.”

― Fulton J. SheenLife Is Worth Living

The Church on the Dignity of Women

You don’t need to look far to see that the Catholic Church tends to get a bad wrap for how it approaches women’s issues. While there are plenty of misconceptions from either side of this topic, I think it is fair to say that this mindset springs from the ideals of the liberal feminist movement, which pushes the pro-choice agenda, contraception and women’s equality by presenting it under the guise of women’s rights.

Now let me make myself clear, I am not saying women should be treated any less than equal to men, but treating someone equally and treating someone the same are two different things. If people would simply stop and do a little bit of research into what the Church truly believes and the logic behind this belief they would see that the Catholic Church is one of the few organizations fighting for women’s dignity.

My friends, the Church can not fight for women’s dignity alone. It begins with us.

Gentlemen, we in a distinct way are called to respect our female counterparts. As protectors at heart, we need to man up and put some action behind the Church’s teaching. From pornography to contraception, there is too much in our society that diminishes the spirit of women. I am fed up with this B.S., we can do better men.

A Challenge For Men

Even though the value of women is not held highly in our society, I challenge you (myself included) to hold women in higher esteem. It starts with small things. The next time you see a woman wearing revealing clothing, instead of checking her out, say a quick prayer for her.

Single guys, do not rush into a relationship and drag a woman’s heart along for the ride. Set boundaries for your relationships that are respectful to a lady.

If you are married, the next time you speak to your wife, praise her for the gift her femininity brings to your life and the life of your family. Thank her for the sacrifice of motherhood.

If you are a father, tell your daughter she is beautiful, not just pretty… Beautiful. Let her know that you delight in her as our Heavenly Father delights in each of His children.

A cultural shift does not just happen overnight. It begins and ends in the heart of every man. So men, join me and let us begin today!

Stop Motion Save the Date Video [How to]

If you know us well, you know that we like to be unique. Our goal (aside from getting married) is to have our guests leave thinking, “that was very Pat and Nicole.” We were looking for a creative, yet economical way to inform our guests to mark their calendars for our special day. So we decided to send out a save the date email with a personal spin on it. Instead of just an engagement photo, we created a stop motion save the date video.

To create our stop motion save the date, we used the following:

I highly recommend Finger Lab’s iMotion HD. It is both free and fully featured. In addition to these tools, here are a few other tips to keep in mind when creating your own save the date video.

Keep it simple

Not much to expand upon here; plan ahead. It’s great to have something complex and awesome, but the reality is that you are planning a wedding. Time is of the essence. My suggestion–keep it simple.

Make your video accessible

Grandma may not know how to use Instagram, but she can certainly check her email. We decided to send our video out over email simply because we knew that would work best for our family and friends. Your family may be different, so I suggest distributing it in a way that makes it easy to be viewed. Don’t be afraid to post it on Facebook, just because you can’t invite all your friends to the wedding doesn’t mean you can’t share your excitement with them.

Keep it under a minute folks

Be mindful that the goal of a save the date is two fold: #1 inform your guests of the upcoming big day and #2 allow them the opportunity to learn a little bit more about you as a couple, plus all those other important details (i.e. check out your wedding registry, website or whatever). No one wants to watch your next short film, keep it under a minute people.

So go out, have fun and make it personal. Engagement will fly by (or so others tell us) so try to enjoy the experience. What other save the date ideas have you all seen?

Living together before marriage — why I’m waiting until after the wedding

I am officially a nomad until I get married in November. I moved out of my house and am temporarily living with my parents. Life would be much easier if my fiancé and I were living together. Practical problems like financial pressures would make moving in with her a good solution. From my rough calculation, Nicole and I would save about $300 per month (money that would be nice to have for our honeymoon). However, there is value in waiting to live together until after you are married. Below are the reasons I’m waiting to move in until after I say, “I do.”

I want my marriage to last

The fact of the matter is that couples who cohabit before marriage tend to be less satisfied with their marriages — and more likely to divorce — than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect. There is a big difference between a permanent bond such as marriage and just living together in a conditional relationship.

It’s easier to slip into marriage

Often after living with your significant other for a long time, a wedding seems like something you should do. Getting married should not be a default next step. Marriage is an active and conscious decision to say that you will love and be committed to this person for your lifetime. By living together before marriage, you don’t get space (literally) to take a step back and objectively decide whether this person is truly meant to be your spouse.

Related: Watch Our HuffPost Interview on Cohabitation

I don’t need to “test it out”

A lot of people say, “I can only marry someone if he or she agrees to live together first so that we can find out whether we really get along.” Many think that this a good way to avoid divorce. This logic is flawed. Women and men see moving in together differently. Women are more likely to view cohabitation as a step toward marriage while men are more likely to see it as a way to test a relationship or postpone commitment.

The more important question is, what is there to test? I’ve dated Nicole for over a year and a half. I think I know how my fiancé lives her life. True, I may not fully understand all her nuances, but these are all part of the excitement (and struggle) of marriage.

I want to keep the spark alive 

One of the beautiful things about marriage and the engagement period is its mystery. If we had lived together when I proposed, it would have made that hugely romantic gesture a lot less momentous. Most of the romance comes from the idea that the man and woman are entering into a huge new commitment together. If you’re already engaging in all the intimacy and sacrifice that comes with making a home together, the excitement fizzles away.

Part of what keeps the spark alive is a couple experiencing new things together. Moving in together seems pretty new and monumental wouldn’t you say?

I don’t want my wedding to be lame

Living together before marriage makes most wedding traditions meaningless. What is the point of a bachelor party? The honeymoon turns into just a fun trip and lacks a certain specialness. Lastly, the symbolism of a father walking his daughter down the aisle is lost given that it’s supposed to show the woman leaving her home and making a new one with her husband.

Chastity smastity

I decided to wait to have sex until marriage long before I met Nicole. One of the hardest things for guys to do is to say goodbye to their honeys at the end of the night (it’s even worse when you are engaged). Living together would only make chaste living that much more difficult.

I like to be unique

According to the New York Times, cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the last half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation. Why should I be like everyone else?

In today’s complex world, I can see how living together before marriage would seem to simplify things. However, more and more I’m convinced that the sacrifices are well worth the benefits of waiting to make a home until after the wedding.

Have thoughts, leave them in the comments below or tweet us @CoupleCatholics.

More articles on cohabitation:

5 Catholic News Sources for Honest Reporting

With the surprise announcement of Pope Benedict XVI’s resignation, I thought I would share the top five places I go to for unfiltered, honest, non-secularized Catholic news. These fives news sources for me allow me to not get skewed information regarding the Church or any major news regarding Catholicism.

  1. Vatican News – The official news site of the Vatican offers the faithful brief news articles on the Pope and the Church, videos of His Holiness and multiple news outlets. They tweet @newsva_en
  2. National Catholic Register – The National Catholic Register began in Denver in the late 1920s as the Denver Catholic Register. Exchanging several hands, it eventually was purchased by EWTN from the Legionaries in January 2011. The paper prides itself on being a daily news outlet that is faithful to the Magisterium and professional in presentation. Amongst many supposed Catholic media companies, the NC Register remains a resource for faithful Catholics seeking to understand their Church and their world. It hosts a myriad of correspondents and gives opinion through their various and well-known bloggers. Follow NC Register on twitter @NCRegister
  3. Catholic News Services – The mission of Catholic News Service is the mission of the Church itself — to spread the Gospel through contemporary means of communication. Serving since 1920 as a news agency specializing in reporting religion, is the primary source of national and world news that appears in the U.S. Catholic press. Their website is a little outdated, but decent reporting. You can find them on twitter @CatholicNewsSvc
  4. Rome Reports – Rome Reports is a great source for Catholic news videos. Updated on a regular basis, Rome Reports is faithful to the Church and reliable for up to date videos on Catholic news and papal events. Check out their twitter @romereports
  5. Zenit – Zenit has some of the most comprehensive Vatican News coverage. When the Holy Father issues an Encyclical or Document it is on line within 24 hours. It also prints important news on the international Church and comes in several languages. Follow them on twitter @zenitenglish

Stay away from the following:

National Catholic Reporter – Lovingly called the National Catholic Fishwrap by popular blogger Father Z and others, the supposed Catholic newspaper is a festering wound of heresy and dissent. I call it the National Catholic Distorter.

Mainstream Media “Faith Blogs” – Sites like the Huffington Post on Religion and the CNN Belief Blog are complete froth and generally only host those religious thinkers who are either atheists or angry ex-members of a given religion.

What are your favorite Catholic news sources?

[Note: this blog post was originally posted on PatrickPadley.com]
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